i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize