He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
