Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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