How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize