I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
