I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I take back everything I said about communal showers
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
