There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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