Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
