the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
we're making bets on your personal life
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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