I'm lost and stupid without you.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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