if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
