he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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