OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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