the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
