hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
