He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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