well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
