cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
