The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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