You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
