dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I have tasted many bathrooms
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
