i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
