I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
This toilet bowl is my home.
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