So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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