i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
