I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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