my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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