It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Randomize
