my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
