he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
