I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
