Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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