Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
you never un-have a 4some
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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