Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
