***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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