So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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