you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
