her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
