Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
