there was a trapeze. enough said
time to smoke my breakfast
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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