I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
