i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize