So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
