my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
