i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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