You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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