Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
