Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Randomize
