After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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