Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
