Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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