So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
this will be a night to untag.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
