so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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