Christians are straight up FREAKS
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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