My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
