wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
