remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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