I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
