when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
