If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
