i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
