On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
