So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
