I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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